Stepfamily Counselling is aimed at raising awareness around the dynamics of stepfamilies. They are very different to the biological family system. We all know about our family of origin and how we were brought up. This is what we take into our adult life no matter what the circumstances were. When we are under stress we revert to this model, no matter how much we approved or didn’t approve of our parents way of parenting.
When couples come together for the first time, they evolve together. There are no ex-partners, no shared home experience and no children. They are both starting this journey for the first time. When a stepfamily is formed they dynamics are very different. There is usually ex-spouses, his children, her children and sometime eventually our children. Where was the time to form a strong relationship without all these distractions? There are two histories, two forms of discipline, two value systems, traditions and ways of communication. There are unrealistic expectation and hopes this may be a second chance and it will turn out better than the previous experience.
No matter how chaotic the issues that come to therapy may be, and what the multitude of issues are, it's good to know that your therapist is well trained, has research backed knowledge that is up to date, and has compassion and understanding of your experience. The therapist needs to have a framework, strategies and confidence for therapy and can prioritise the many competing issues, to tackle the challenging stepfamily systems.
Managing negative interactions can be somewhat overwhelming at times, but with awareness of the dynamics and with realistic expectations you can come to the understanding that your feelings can be seen as reasonable within the context of stepfamily adjustment.
In therapy there is first of all an assessment through the intake process, a gathering of information and history so far. After identifying the various issues a decision is made for a plan for therapy. As stepfamilies go through cycles, we will determine how to navigate these cycles, so a joint understanding of what is involved will determine the time and length of treatment. After the stepfamily has become established and has been stabilised, the family members are ready to come together.The need for compromise and cooperation is essential for the integration of all involved.
As each stepfamily is unique to their personalities, context and situation, therapy needs to be tailored the specific needs of the family. A clear understanding of some common experiences of stepfamilies, what action to take and a basis to assist these families.
The statistics show that stepfamilies are rapidly on the rise, either through divorce or death. Whether you remarry or are cohabiting and where children are involved, this constitutes a stepfamily.
Together we will interpret the various issues that are unique to your stepfamily, you will learn new skills and techniques for navigating these issues.
